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01 January 2005

Write Your Own Caption - #59

Dobson

[Photo purloined from Mouse Words.]

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» The great blogfuck of 2005, or Part 1 of my long list of picks from the blogosphere from c u l t u r e k i t c h e n
There is no better way to start the year than with some love and a good dose of lust. On the blogosphere there is one way to express both --through an all out blogfucking orgy. Some of these blogs I read on a daily basis; others at least once a... [Read More]

Comments

Praise Jeezus or I'll fuckin' kill ya.

I will read to you now from I Bushinthians, Chapter 9, Verse 11:

"And the Lord looked down upon Crawford, Texas, and said 'is there no man so slow of thought, so twisted of tongue, so perfect in his ability to admit no sin, that he be righteous enough to be the chosen leader?' And George said unto the Lord 'God, I reckon I fit the bill.' The Lord said unto George 'Verily my son, it is hard work.' And George replied 'I look forward to workin' with Congress on these tough issues.'

Then the Lord sighed, and thought unto himself 'You go to war with the President you have, not the one you might want.' And he reached down from the heavens and, with his Supreme Court singing an inaugural chorus, did anoint young George as President.

And George was glad, and sang the Lord's praises, and said to the hosts of heaven and the United States 'you don't know the definition of work...now watch me hit this drive.'"

Then futher in Letters to Dubya - 11:2:04 is sayeth:

"And the Lawrd's people looked upon the countries of the Earth and saw but one that voteth for the chimp. The Chimp, a many splendored Chimp in states the color of crimson, shall never forget who gave him his power, no, not the Lawrd, but us with the crosses and shotguns... don't ye forget... we want our pound of flesh, and shall have it!"

Feh!

So, ladies and gentlemen, the Lord... My my, would you look at that guy in the first pew? Mmmm mmmm, what a fine piece of ass.

"Put your nose right here. No, closer. Yeah right there in the spine. Okay, now cross your eyes." *slam* "Now do you see the verse that says that God is a 'strict constructionist'? Yeah, he thinks just like Scalia."

"Jesus wept."

Gospel According to John, Chapter 11, verse 35.

James Dobson: "And now another lecture about Focusing On Families Other Than Your Own."

[Trish's side note: Dobson sure is a mean-looking fuck, isn't he?]

And God didth so say unto Abraham, "Maybe you shouldn't sacrifice your son, but beating the tar out of small animals is perfectly alright no matter what those secularlist liberals say."

Story: http://digbysblog.blogspot.com/2004_12_12_digbysblog_archive.html

"Goddamnit, why did I leave those pages stuck together?"

JesusChristOnAPogoStick!
Fred Phelp's ass sure was sweet... Yummmmmmmm....

Oh... uhm... The Sermon...

Right!

"Due to the interpretation of it, which has launched genocide, war, hate, violence, unreasonable expectations, and has justified slavery, homophobia other such abominations, it is the United States Constitution that must be amended, not the Holy Bible!"

"God hath smitten the heathen Democrats. They will wander senseless through the desert for 40 years. I shall take up the sword for the Taliban Christians and force any remaining Democrats to do the will of our Lord God George, or they, too, shall be banished from the His kingdom. To do His work as He has bade me, send me your tithes (in cash, as I have learned from Jimmy Baker). Give me, too, your women, as I shall dress them in burkas and take away all of their rights in the name of focusing on the family and for the good of all red-faced, old and ugly, white men who know the Lord God George has chosen only them to lead us to the black pastures of Armageddon.

Children of God...wear your faith with pride!

[Voiceover, little girl singing]

"Can't even shout
Can't even cry
The gentlemen are coming by
Looking in windows
Knocking on doors
They need to take seven and they might take yours
Can't call to mom
Can't say a word
You're gonna die screaming but you won't be heard."

[Next scene]

"The princess screamed once and they all died."

[We hear a small, angry scream, then Dobson's face turns redder and his eyes get crazier, and then...yikes, his head explodes. The end.]

Stolen from Buffy the Vampire Slayer, season 4, episode 10 - "Hush" - written by Joss Whedon.

Is that James Dobson, or did Ross Perot have collagen implants put in his ears? (Yes, I'm a Christian, that doesn't mean I like James Dobson!)

YES!!!! Harry Potters been picked for the Quidich team.

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