[Photo purloined from Ricky's Bottle of Blog.]
The fracas between Dr. Cole and Master Goldberg has been well-documented throughout the blogosphere. If you've been doing the Rip Van Winkle shuffle for the past week and don't know what the hell I'm talking about, you can catch up by reading Norbizness' posts here and here. In following the issue throughout the parrotsphere, I've come across a number of original, bust-a-gut nicknames for Goldberg. They include:
- doughy pantload
- sieve boy
- mr. specious infotainment
- scrumbag
I can't help but think there are other apropos nicknames for Goldberg out there that I've missed. And we could always come up with more. So, I'm sponsoring a Jonah Goldberg nickname contest. The deadline is Wednesday at 5 p.m. Eastern. I and the minions in my office will serve as the jury. The prize is $50 via Amazon or Paypal.
Oh, and if you're responsible for one of the above gems, you have to come and claim it as your own in comments below to be considered by the jury.
How about... Goldsphincter
Posted by: Ron Brynaert | 07 February 2005 at 03:25
Neo-slob.
Posted by: Eli | 07 February 2005 at 03:36
I'm the guilty party who called him sieve-boy, in reference to the multitude of sphincters that have been ripped into his corpulent torso.
Posted by: PZ Myers | 07 February 2005 at 08:22
Give it up to Wolcott for "Jabba the Hack."
Posted by: anonymous | 07 February 2005 at 11:16
I take credit for doughy pantload, although if it catches on I suspect my involvement will go the way of Rox's credit for the Friday Ten. In any event, give me $50. Or some used fake grass from an Easter Basket. I don't care.
But I guess I'll have to come up with something new. How about "The Round Mound of Nepotistic Douchebaggery"?
Posted by: norbizness | 07 February 2005 at 11:28
Pillsbury Fuckwit.
Posted by: NTodd | 07 February 2005 at 11:45
"The fruit of Lucianne's loins."
That should gross enough of us out.
Posted by: Randy Paul | 07 February 2005 at 11:52
Somebody named "ahem" in comments on the first Norbizness post called him "The Fruit of Lucianne's Twat."
It doesn't get much better than that.
Posted by: The Liberal Avenger | 07 February 2005 at 11:53
Yes, Mr. Specious Infotainment was my baby. Originally, it was going to be "The Jonah Goldberg Award for Specious Infotainment."
I'd also like to suggest: "Lamo-puss Rex", 'cause you know, Oedipus and all that.
Did I mention that Jonah is a no-talent momma's boy chicken hawk?
Posted by: alt hippo | 07 February 2005 at 11:54
TIP: You'll earn more points from the feminist judges if you stay away from certain words.
Posted by: Roxanne | 07 February 2005 at 12:00
I'm partial to D'oh! Boy
Posted by: Grant | 07 February 2005 at 12:08
Majikthese wrote: "The only thing better than Juan Cole's denunciation of Jonah Golberg is James Wolcott's account of Juan Cole's denunciation of Jonah Goldberg."
In her comments, I replied "Actually, going one step further to Pharyngula was also worth the trip.
Are we seeing the rise of the Pissed Off Professors, shedding the language of academe, ready to demonstrate in terms a gray-state WWF fan can comprehend, that the Malevolent Morons for Empire have a slippable half-nelson hold on the truth?
I say, get them all in speedos and let the tagteam whoopass of the intellectual nancyboys of the neoclowns finally begin in earnest.
Yes, that PZ jumped into the fray that way really made my day. I sometimes wonder if the only way to convince the mob at the Colosseum that the Christians bear more truth than the lions is for JC & the Disciples to show up in Superhero costumes, tossing live thunderbolts to prove the Kings of the Jangle are naught but overgrown pussies.
That said, my coinage for Joshua: Le Braun-Schnozzle for his apt portrayal of the Eva of Destruction's loyalty to a president who can kill hundreds of thousands and call it democracy, without blushing.
Posted by: Kevin Hayden | 07 February 2005 at 12:24
Hey, is "Goldmember" taken yet?
Posted by: Michael Bérubé | 07 February 2005 at 13:50
Michael: I haven't seen that one yet. Does anyone else know?
Posted by: Roxanne | 07 February 2005 at 13:56
Does anyone know who the other guy in the photo is? I think he needs a nickname, too.
Posted by: Eli | 07 February 2005 at 14:01
'Give it up to Wolcott for "Jabba the Hack."'
Yeah this guy aint winning no beauty contest neither.
http://www.donshewey.com/2001_zine/IMAGES/debate1.gif
Maybe some pie eating contests.
Posted by: Galla | 07 February 2005 at 14:29
Maybe the other guy is Boba Feckless?
Posted by: Jennifer | 07 February 2005 at 14:39
Other guy: "Grand Muff Tarkin." Oh shit. I'm gonna get creamed by that feminist judge.
Posted by: norbizness | 07 February 2005 at 14:49
His writing could be referred to as The Goldberg Ejaculations.
Posted by: Robert S. | 07 February 2005 at 15:23
Likud-A-Pie
Posted by: Ohio Dan | 07 February 2005 at 15:26
Jonah the Whale.....?
Posted by: Paida | 07 February 2005 at 15:36
How about a shit munching butt weasel?
Posted by: Swami | 07 February 2005 at 15:47
Cake Hole
Swillsbury Doughboy
Pamper Pilot
Raving Private Lyin'
Gomer Bile
Satan's Sock Puppet
Posted by: epoh | 07 February 2005 at 15:47
The Omniscient Oaf
Wonderboy
Mr. Ignorance Incarnate
The Unbridled Bufoon
Sugarbutt
Posted by: | 07 February 2005 at 16:06
Mommy's Little Blowhard
Posted by: The Liberal Avenger | 07 February 2005 at 16:42