Are you one of many American families itching for a summertime holiday spree, yet uncomfortable supporting those nasty, Godless theme parks with your hard-earned American greenbacks? Do you want to experience a true Christian getaway that enhances your family values? Want to make sure your child writes the proper, unembarrasing "What I did on my my summer vacation" essay on that first day back at home school?
Well, look no further! As Bob Woodiwiss points out, the "right" family furlough is only a gas tank away. Here's a sample:
The Museum of Inferior People: Today, many white heterosexual Christians in America are confused. They know they're better than everyone else, but by exactly how much? The Museum of Inferior People seeks to put an end to this uncertainty with a wealth of sacred documents, powerful exhibits and blinding graphics. Here you'll learn exactly where every religion, race, nationality and worldview rates behind yours -- individually or in complex combination. Is a gay Hindu living in the U.S on a green card more or less inferior to you than a liberal black Muslim who's a citizen of France? Can a lesbian Asian claim moral superiority over a bisexual gypsy atheist? Now you'll know!Want more? There's lots more! Instantly calculate the up-to-the-second total weight of the White Man's Burden using the amazing OmniAtomic HubriScopic Brain. Summarily dismiss ancient competing belief systems with the wave of our animatronic Christ's lifelike hand. Even wrathfully smite real, live inferiors -- from agnostics to Zoroastrians -- on the spot (extra charge required). Superiority has never been so super fun!
Satire, of course, based on the all-too-real Creation Museum and Family Discovery Center. And if you think the snipet above is frighteningly hilarious, you should check out the rest of Bob Woodiwiss' "dogmacational attractions."
"you will get wet" indeed.
Posted by: another Jeff | 27 July 2005 at 18:10
There's big money in evangelical Christian tourism and has been for a while. Jim and Tammy Faye Bakker were trailblazers in this. Their PTL organization built a huge and very successful Christian amusement park, Heritage USA, on the ministry's property in Fort Mill, SC. The park shut down when the Bakkers had their problems and lost control over the PTL. MorningStar Ministries purchased the site last year, renamed it Heritage International Ministries, and is in the process of restoring it. Standing But Not Operating, a web site dedicated to abandoned amusement parks, has quite a bit of information.
Also, check out Dinosaur Adventure Land, a creationist theme park in Pensacola, FL. As their promotional video says, "the place where dinosaurs and the Bible meet."
Posted by: JDC | 27 July 2005 at 18:11
i clicked the link and laughed so hard I cried.
Posted by: eli | 27 July 2005 at 19:52